Baby Seth's Story: Holidays..

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Holidays..

Wow, I guess Christmas really got to us!! I haven't been on here in FOREVER.. I am so sorry!! Well, the holiday's went as expected, I cried, laughed, and just remembered my little boy!! it was a very hard time, but It was also a very joyful time!! Well, I just wanted to stop in and let you all know that I DO still exist!! lol

Thanks for checking in!!

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Our Journey with Anencephaly

We found out on December 18, 2008 that out baby boy would be born with a fatal defect called Anencephaly. I was 18 weeks pregnant.We were so upset. It was very unexpected. I had never heard of it before that day. I knew this was the beginning of a change in my life. So many things ran through my head. Was I going to be ok? How was I going to take this diagnosis? How was this going to affect the rest of my pregnancy? I knew it was going to be difficult, but I chose to carry my baby to term. Not because it was the right thing to do, but because I already loved my baby and no matter what, he is still mine. Well now we are down to 3 weeks left until delivery and I am soooo nervous. I want to have lots of time with him, but I know that it is not a promise. And as each day gets closer I get more scared, more nervous, and more sad. I am scared of after he passes. How will I react when people ask " how is your baby" or "Where is your baby" but I know that carrying him to term wasthe best decision I could have made, because atleast my husband, daughter, and I will get to meet and greet him before he leaves to go to heaven.

The song I live by...

"Praise You In This Storm"
I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I remember whenI stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to you
And you raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You
But as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

thanks Celia!

Don't be mad if I cry
It just hurts so bad sometimes
'Cause everyday it's sinking in
And I have to say goodbye all over again
You know I bet it feels good
To have the weight of this world
Off Your shoulders now
I'm dreaming of the day
When I'm finally there with You
Save a place for me, save a place for me
I'll be there soon, I'll be there soon
Save a place for me, save some grace for me
I'll be there soon, I'll be there soon
I have asked the questions why
But I guess the answer's for another time
So instead I'll pray with every tear
And be thankful for the time I had You here
So You just save a place for me, save a place for me
I'll be there soon, I'll be there soon
Save a place for me, save some grace for me
I'll be there soon, I'll be there
I wanna live my life just like You did
And make the most of my time just like You did
And I wanna make my home up in the sky
Just like You did, oh, but until I get there
Until I get there
Just save a place for me, save a place for me
'Cause I will be there soon
Save a place for me, save a place for me
I'll be there soon, I'll be there soon
Don't be mad if I cry
It just hurts so bad