Thursday, February 24, 2011

A hard day...

Today, I had a telephone interview with a lady from the Arkansas Children's hospital, center of Birth Defects. They sent me a letter to complete, and send back to them a few weeks ago, If I wanted to participate in a study, and I said why not, maybe this could benefit someone. Anyway, The lady called, and the interview was set up for today. It was about my pregnancy with my sweet Seth, 3 months befpre, and 3 months after. And the VERY FIRST question was...."is your son still alive? I was like really?? this was stated in the papers that I sent to you already.. Anyways, with tears in my eyes, I simply said, no, no he isn't. And most of the questions after that made me cry. Needless to say, this interview has made for a very emotional day. I miss him so, so much. And night time get to me more than anything. Night time is the only time tyhat I have quiet time, to actually sit and think, abiut the things that have happened in my life, both good and bad. And I must say, of all of the things that have happened, losing my son, is definately the one that has not gotten easier, and I know, it will never get any easier. It still feels the same as the day we say,"see you soon, sweet Seth"

Well, sweet friends of mine, it is time I turn in for the night.. my sweet rainbow is tired..
God Bless you ALL!



  1. What a hard day! I know the lady didn't mean to hurt you, but I wish she didn't have to ask that question. I'm sorry. (((HUGS)))

  2. Sorry for the tough day. I thiink of you and your family so often. {{HUGS}}

  3. Im sorry that day was so hard (((hug)))

    I do most of my thinking when Im driving alone and that is when I grieve the most

  4. PJ,
    I know she didnt intend to hurt you. And yes, unfortunately, the hurt will be there but like my cousin said to me (she lsot a son also) it is something you go through and you will have high peaks and low peaks, it is something we learn to walk through and try our best. God is there with us and will help ease our pain and carry us. I believe that. And I know he does that for you too. I love you!! ((HUGS))